I’ve been learning about the neuroscience of eating disorders. Yesterday, while listening to a podcast, the speaker mentioned how obsessed our culture is with diets and bodies. What I found intriguing was the comment made about Weight Watchers. It was something to the effect of then once people started catching onto the harmfulness of diet culture, they began marketing diets by packaging them as “not a diet.”
I had to pause the podcast. I’d been duped. I love Weight Watchers, BUT… I don’t love the addiction I battle with, thinking about my body all the time, thinking about what I’m going to eat or not eat all the time, what people are going to think of me all the time. It’s harmful. And “it’s not a diet, but a lifestyle” encouraged… Guess what… More of a fascination with how wonderful I felt about my new diet, not a diet.
I wish the tables of my understanding could have been flipped sooner. Once your brain is convinced you’re right about something, do you know how hard it is to access the real freedom we could have from just being? I’m not saying I have an excuse to be gluttonous, but you guys, I’m saying I have access to walk in the freedom to just be. I’m going to work really hard to rewire the pathways of my thinking patterns to walk in freedom. For me, comments about my physical size, even in my own head, slaughter wellness. They come with a bloody mess of shame. Get this, I’ve gained 40 lbs since Covid. I’ve been diagnosed with TMJ, arthritis, depression, high blood pressure, anxiety, and now sleep apnea. But you want to know what’s really sick? My biggest concern is my image: how I’m seen and known. This should already be settled, and I’m realizing how scary it is that it’s not. But now I know. Why worry about what you will eat or drink? (Find that scripture and meditate on it!)
What’s insane is that the answer to my physical ailments has less to do with me fixing the wrongness of my symptoms and is, rather, more about getting more air in my body. And I can’t fix it on my own. Once my CPAP comes in, all I will need to do is plug in and rest—sleep. The machine makes up the difference. It’s incredible to think about! “You are the breath in my lungs” is more than a pretty song.
While listening to the podcast, I immediately remembered sitting in a Bible study and listening to people talk about people needing relationships and not a religion while emphasizing their prideful, neatly packaged new version of religion according to them. I was taken aback by what felt like a defeat, and when I called it out (in a nice way, or so I thought), I felt gutted. God forbid!
Is Christianity about relationships? It absolutely should be. But are we still living in religion, holding onto the prideful image that accompanies religious thinking?
“Repentance” means we CHANGE OUR THINKING. That’s hard work. It involves letting go of what you were duped into believing and trusting God enough to let him change your thinking patterns… even when you don’t feel like it’s right!
There’s freedom to be had in Christ that’s better than a lot of the crap I’ve settled into with my thinking. Yes, I said crap. Well, technically, I typed it, but… (I’m funny! 🤣)
The body of Christ needs more love and acceptance and less comparison and observation about what their body parts and others SHOULD look like and do. And yet, our comments continue to fuel the toxicity of the culture we’ve come to accept as usual.
I can’t care for my arthritic fingers by denying them rest and making them work harder in shame and neglect.
There’s a far better way, a rest that’s other than. It’s what Jesus always intended for us. Seek that out! It’s worth it.
