One of my favorite podcasts is Hidden Brain. The latest episode discusses the benefits of having mixed emotions and is thought-provoking. Consider this-
When people want a leader, they gravitate toward those who exemplify certainty, someone who can come to a decision and move on. These confident leaders present themselves as decisive, even if those leaders are experiencing conflicting thoughts internally and hide it.
People who share mixed emotions are considered weak when considered for a leadership position. In these situations, their ambivalence is not desired or valued.
On the other hand, when working in a group, those willing to embrace the discomfort of and harness the benefits of ambivalence, such as carefully weighing the pros and cons, make better decisions and are more productive. In situations requiring group participation, ambivalence is valued!
Studies show that people who sit long enough to work out their mixed emotions are less biased, approaching issues with an open-minded, both/and mindset rather than a dichotomous either/or attitude.
Our rushed, paradoxical tendency to make decisions prematurely hinders our discernment, limits our effectiveness, and robs us of understanding and empathizing with one another.
When reading the Scriptures, it’s critical to sit with our uncertainties and wrestle with our understanding. One person may insist a passage clearly expresses God’s truth, while another person waits patiently, listens to others, pursues to know the character of God revealed through the whole counsel of Scripture, and boldly asks difficult questions, sometimes throwing confident, decisive leaders off their game.
A wise pastor once told me that decisions made by leaders who are committed to serving their congregations takes longer. This pastor had empowered a team to work out decisions for the group, rather than taking on the responsibility of calling all the shots.
Turning the direction of a ministry is like turning a cruise ship. You don’t drive a speed boat and a cruise ship the same way. Consider how many people would be thrown off the boat before getting to their final destination if the captain made hasty decisions.
Shepherds carrying God’s heart for His people care enough about each one that they will wrestle with their uncertainty and submit to others to carefully make decisions. This is one way we, as shepherds of God’s people, proactively care for each person. We can’t assume another boat will swing by to take care of them if they fall off the boat we’re supposed to be stewarding.
We must remember that we don’t own the boats, the ministries, or even our churches. Ultimately, they belong to God. We are called to steward what God has positioned us to care for and to submit to the process, even if it seems to take forever!
Let’s remember the parable of the Good Samaritan who stopped pursuing his own goals to care for the one in front of him needing his help the most. If our ministries leave people in the dust, like those of the Priest and the Levite, we’ve probably made them more about us than the Lord and His people.
I’m challenged by my thoughts today and I hope you are, too. I pray we embrace the challenges of being transparent in our ambivalence when facing decisions as we patiently remember the kingdom of God is not like the kingdom of this world; so it makes sense our churches shouldn’t have to copy the values of faulty leadership strategies.
Wrestle with your uncertainties today. Listen to someone with a different opinion than yours (without interrupting!) and be willing to change your mind. It’s ok to do that, ya know! Have a great day my friends!
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