I know I’ve been talking a lot about abuse lately on here and if that makes you uncomfortable, I’m not really sorry. I’m glad. Because I had to get uncomfortable before I got mad.
If you pray for God to break your heart for what breaks His, He will. And you might be surprised to find that the very things you thought He wanted, the very things you taught as truth, were, in fact, the very things that completely wreck His heart.
For instance, many churches actively teach that women should stay in abusive marriages, they should submit to men who harm them, and should basically shut up about it because, if they complain, they will be in sin. If they try to teach their kids about Christ at home, (this becoming the spiritual leader of the home) when her husband isn’t, she’s sinning. Especially if she doesn’t “give that position back.” Think that’s extreme? Consider this one: If she isn’t in the mood and their relationship is completely void of any affection or intimacy, and she says no, she’s in sin. There are churches actively holding to “literal” interpretations of the Bible to illustrate their own self serving narrative. They take holy words and are twisting and manipulating their congregations into believing they can read the Bible without teaching them to apply the context to understand the spirit of the text. There are churches teaching doctrines of hell that stand in stark contrast to God’s heart for people. And they’re proud. I wish they were broken. I pray they pursue brokenness.
We can’t expect breakthrough without brokenness.
And, just in case you’re wondering, God doesn’t love the institution of marriage more than He loves His children. God’s will is not that spouses stay in abusive relationships. Before the KJV was translated, the Scripture that reads: “God hates divorce,” doesn’t really say that. How many people have we inadvertently destroyed as we cling to our understanding more than we seek God’s heart? It breaks my heart. It breaks God’s heart. Check out these charts on the following screenshots, then go look it up for yourself. Don’t just take my word for it.
Gretchen Baskerville, author of “Life Saving Divorce” provides this information (screenshots) in this video: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422691795132235/permalink/1111886269546114/?sfnsn=mo&ref=share
I pray that you have the courage to study out the hard things, the controversial things, the things that offend you. Pray about them.
Offer your understanding up to God. Allow Him to offend your understanding with His truth. His truth can take it.
I honestly believe the reason so many of these church teachers, who oppress women with these teachings, are buckling down with their crap theology, is because they’re scared. They fear a mass Exodus of women leaving, not only their marriages, but their churches, as well. Some of them think women will use excuses of abuse to leave when they’re “not really being abused.”
I have to stop right here. Think about what that means. Maybe it sounds righteous on the outside. Maybe it sounds good. But it’s not gospel. Not the real gospel, anyway. The real gospel empowers believers to pursue justice, mercy, and love.
The American gospel idolizes their oppressive, hierarchical family structure above the gospel that sets captives free.
Refusing to allow women to even educate themselves enough to understand what abuse even is should be a blazing hot, red flag that your gospel falls short.
One more thought on that: if your main concern is non-abused women walking out of their “godly” marriages, perhaps you should be more concerned about whether or not husbands are laying their lives down for their wives. Perhaps you should be more concerned about their relationships being real. Perhaps you should live out what you preach when you boldly proclaim the gospel isn’t about religion, but relationship. Does that value really bleed over into what you believe? Think about it.
Let’s talk about this one: If a woman tries to teach their kids about Christ when her husband isn’t, she’s sinning because he should be the “spiritual leader” of the home. Can you show me in the Scripture where one person is supposed to rein in their passionate desire to pursue and obey Christ with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength simply because someone else isn’t? Is discipleship not an overflow of loving God? Does the Great Commission not apply to women? I’m calling this out, that’s bull. I spent years struggling with believing my husband should be walking in my strengths and I in his because our stupid culture teaches we should adhere to these gender roles.
There’s a difference between scriptural and cultural beliefs.
The last I checked, Jesus taught a person wasn’t worthy of following Him if they didn’t “hate” their family enough to follow Him. Yes, that’s in the Bible, look it up. There’s also no scripture that teaches a husband is the prophet, priest, and king of his home over his family. It does teach Christ made believers to be kings and priests to rule and reign with Him. It does teach all believers can and should hear His voice. It does teach all believers should desire to prophesy. Interesting, huh? Check it out.
Let’s talk some more about this one: “If she isn’t in the mood and even if their relationship is completely void of any affection or intimacy, and she says no, she’s in sin.” Shut the front door.
Biblical submission is mutual.
Biblical submission does not equate to one spouse holding a trump card that demands their grateful and enthusiastic consent. “What kind of creepy theology is this?” you may ask. It’s actually taught in more churches than you realize. And it’s fueling a fake gospel that hinders the salvation message. It’s fueling the enemy’s plan to deceive and abuse God’s people. It’s robbing people of understanding and experiencing God’s heart. It’s hypocritical. It does not produce good fruit. It places a religious stamp of approval on this oppressive theology and it produces the perfect atmosphere to cultivate abuse.
Consent isn’t consent if not consenting is sin. Teaching that is spiritually abusive.
Woe to those who lead God’s people astray. Scripture has something to say about that… Something about a millstone. (Insert my sarcastic voice here.)
We know nothing of unity if we refuse mutual submission.
Bible bashers who claim to stand on the literal Word of God need to step back from their unrighteous zealousness and repent. Get this in your spirit: The BIBLE WASN’T WRITTEN TO YOU, IT WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU. Read that again. Don’t ever pull scripture out of context and teach it without first considering who it was written to and why. Don’t “literally” rip it apart from God’s heart for the people in the text first. The black and white words in the scripture don’t magically come alive and speak to people just because they rub it three times. It’s not a magic 8 ball. It’s not truth if it violates God’s heart & the original intention of the text. Yes, that’s a bold statement. But, hear me out. The black and white scripture was around for years before the Holy Spirit was poured out and available to dwell inside of people. And it, though perfect, was still able to be manipulated, twisted, and wrongly taught.
Even the devil tried using the “literal” word of God. I wish we’d be a people more concerned about communing with the “literal” Holy Spirit than arguing over “literal” words.
I’m sick and tired of watching people die all around me. I’m tired of hearing about the abuse. I’m tired of the fake gospel, oppression, and legal slavery. If people encountered Jesus for real and stopped depending on themselves for their own salvation, maybe He’d be seen more in our lives. If people saw how much we love and honor each other, maybe they’d believe the God we serve is a God of love. If people quit idolizing shiny, plastic ministries and gifts, maybe they’d be more willing to offer their vulnerable selves up to God. They’d follow the authenticity of your brokenness more than the fake perfect stuff. We have the perfect gift in Christ so we can offer up our imperfections and worship Jesus in Spirit and in Truth.
If people started understanding the Bible, God’s heart, and what He’s done, maybe we’d see a church empowered to stand in the world and not of it. Maybe we’d see men and women focused on evangelism more than what their neighbors are wearing. Maybe we’d see Christ. Maybe we’d get uncomfortable enough to get mad. Maybe we’d find people actually wanting to pursue Christ instead of having to shame them into submission with fear.
It’s high time we allow ourselves to humbly admit we are sick and tired of our stagnant, warm and cozy complacency and GO into the world and make real disciples of ALL NATIONS.
The truth will set people free! If you’re afraid of the it, ask yourself: “Why?”
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