A few days ago I opened my windows. Since then (due to Tim’s allergies) we closed them back up. I love the fresh smell of late summer/fall coming in throughout my house. Fall is my favorite time of year. Mostly because I like the clothes I get to wear. Bring on the boots! As I was swinging on my porch the other day I started to wonder about the things my neighbors heard coming from my house. I’ll admit there w
ere a couple of times when I yelled. But there was a lot of giggling, a lot of hugs, and a lot of noise coming from my kids playing and shouting. And no matter how many times I ask my kids where their quiet, inside voices are, they still can’t find them. I can relate, though, sometimes I have a hard time finding mine. Swinging on my front porch my mind drifted back to the day when my windows were open and I yelled when my 2 yr old foster peed all over the floor in the living room and in the bathroom…right after I took him to the bathroom. I wasn’t really yelling at him as much as I just hollered out in frustration, “Aaaargh!”
I started to wonder if my neighbors were going to think less of me hearing my loud frustrations voiced. They might not have heard it, but they may have. Then I realized this is just who we are. I’m far from perfect, but I do try my very best to love and take care of these kids. Surely they have days like that, too. Surely. Then I realized that this is what we do with our friends and family. Sometimes, out of fear, we decide not to open our windows. There remains this fear that someone may actually see who you really are and how you really live. Sometimes we leave them open and are surrounded by neighbors who are only kind of close. They’re close enough to hear our shouts or to somehow “sense” when things are wrong, but they’re not close enough to hear the giggles. Sometimes we are the distant neighbors who are too busy with our own lives to really get close to those living close to us.
The thing is, I’ve gotten to the point in my life when I just really want to open my windows. I’m okay with people knowing who I am because I’m working that out with Jesus. I’m not perfect and I’m not lying to myself or anyone else about who I am. I refuse to be more concerned about saving face than I care about getting close to people. I’m tired of fake. I’m tired of superficial. And even if I continue to see the fake and superficial in other people’s lives, I will not let it hinder my walk with loving others. Most of the fake and superficial fronts are driven by fear anyway. And fear is an enemy of mine. I resolve to combat it with love; a love that loves in the face of fear, a love that doesn’t just hear the loud shouts, but the gentle whispers, the quiet laughter.
Still swinging on my front porch I think about the times whenI had close friends walk away from the Lord. When I think about them my heart hurts. It hurts because in their lives I heard the quiet things. We laughed together, cried together, prayed for each other. They eventually closed their windows and even though I never did, they put up the front, put on the mask, closed their windows, and turned on the spiritual AC. They decided they were the ones in charge of how hot or cold to turn the furnace. Maybe it was driven by fear. Maybe by lust. Maybe by… you name it. They distanced themselves from the community God put them in.
I’m not saying this to point anyone out. Still swinging on the porch I’m just thinking about how anyone can fall and how we need to continually work out our salvation. A huge part of that is how we relate to those around us. What kind of neighbors will we be?
The thing I’m struggling with now is this: how do I get into my neighbor’s houses and bust out their windows? And the answer is simply no. That would do more harm than good. If I did that they would probably press charges. They would build a case against me and would move away. I can’t stand outside and shout at them about how nice it is outside. Shouting won’t bring people outside. But living before them will. I just have to believe that God in me is greater than the fear or the lust or whatever temptation came that drove them back in their artificial-safe places. I just have to believe that God will use me in the little moments to minister to those who have fallen away.
I remember someone once told me that the reason there aren’t any windows in adult shops and places like that is because they want all the light out. I’d never likened it to our spiritual lives before. You can’t run from the light when you open a window. There’s a wind outside that’s blowing and it’s a cleansing, sweet wind. It’ll beat against your windows beckoning you to let it in. The seasons have changed and you’ll never know it if you’re the one trying to control your own spiritual thermostat. It will take letting down your guard to let down your windows. It’ll take getting close enough for people to hear your shouts, then maybe your laughter, and maybe your whispers. But that’s the safest place to be.
Open the windows.
Write Now! 