It is my heart’s desire to dive into the deep secrets of God. When His Spirit breathes on the word and makes it come alive I, too, am breathed upon and I, too, come alive. Those moments the logos word (written word) becomes the rhema word (living word) in my life are the moments that stir the undercurrents of the sea that takes me deeper in my knowledge of God. Such a moment happened to me last week. I wanted more time for just me and the Lord. More time than my scheduled hour that was interrupted by a baby’s cries. More time to just sit in His presence. More time to listen to nothing but His voice. I really wanted more time with Jesus. I found myself remembering the days when I could spend 4-5 hours meditating and studying the word. “What a beautiful season that was,” I thought to myself. It really was. And yet, what a beautiful season this is, too. Maybe I don’t have 5 hours a day right now to meditate on the word the way I used to. Maybe I don’t have a clean table like I used to before where I could lay out all my commentaries and cross references and notebooks and really dive in that way.
Perhaps it’s time to start living what is already hidden in my heart to do. I have hidden His word inside of my heart so that I may not sin. I continue to devote time daily to get in the word. He has led me, in His glorious wisdom, to a schedule where I have an hour a day to read the Bible and pray. It’s wonderful. I’m at the end of my time in the word now just thinking about how it all connects today. You see, He’s taken me deeper by so graciously allowing me to have one of those undercurrent moments that pull me into the depths where the secrets are waiting to be revealed.
I don’t remember if it was when I was changing diapers, lining up the dinner plates, loading the dishwasher, or hugging a crying girl who missed her mom, but I heard the Holy Spirit breathe into my Spirit and say, “Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me.” This isn’t the first time I’ve thought of this scripture, but it’s the first time it really came alive. I’ve done lots of things “for” God. Here’s how it used to go for me:
In my head: This person is driving me crazy. I could be so right if I wanted to tell them how right I am. They are being so… and I just need to keep my mouth shut. Maybe if I keep quiet long enough and just do good to them they will see Jesus and He will convict them of their sin… when they see how good I am and how well I can conduct myself under stress.” From my mouth: nothing. Well, most of the time. Or, sometimes, maybe something like this: “This isn’t very Christian of you. Don’t you know that God is in control?” Or maybe something like, “Calm down. He’s got this.”
Let’s try this again, another in my head thought process: “Come on, child. You’re driving me crazy. Hold still, aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!! What on earth were you thinking? What do you think that thing on top of your neck used for, anyway? I guess I’ll fix what you messed up and try to show you how not to make those kind of stupid choices again.” From my mouth: “Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having problems today. Let’s see what we can’t figure out together.”
Oh yeah, I don’t want to forget how much I tried to hide those inward thoughts. I’d smile. I’d grit my teeth. I’d turn away. I wanted to be clean on the inside and outside! I wanted to serve people and make God proud! I just had to keep walking it out the only way I knew how: one step at a time.
Did my thoughts sound super unrighteous and unholy? Looking back now they do. To me. Even some of my responses that I thought were soooooo good don’t seem so good anymore. Why? Because now I know a secret. The logos word became the rhema word when I realized that I don’t have to do all these things for Jesus, I’m doing them unto Him. I didn’t realize there was a difference between those two things. The big picture I had before was that God was sitting in heaven watching me do all these good things to undeserving people. The big picture I had before was God was in heaven checking off a list of all the things He could show the person I was serving when we got to heaven so they could see how good I was when they were being so crappy toward me.
Come on, now, you know you used to have wrong views of who God was and how He was going to “deal” with us when we get to heaven. We all have had things that have happened to us that have shaped the way we view our Father God. Every single one of us. But He doesn’t let that get in His way of coming in and showing us who He really is by giving us moments like the one I just had. He can break a stronghold in a moment. He can change your mind with just one kiss of his word. He can save a nation in a day. He’s God. He’s the Almighty One. He’s so much bigger than what we can imagine.
He is bigger. Bigger than the God I imagined was sitting in heaven counting all my good deeds. He is so big that the way He sees my ministry to the least of these as me ACTUALLY doing it UNTO Him. The least of these are people He has created and I actually minister to Him, not just in front of Him, when I serve and love those He has called me to. This has cleared up my inner thought processes for trying to vindicate myself… at least in my own head (for the most part, anyway). I’m still a work in progress, but now it just feels easy.
He has called us to not just read the word and delight in his word but to do his word and become like him. If we don’t step out into the works He has called us to do, we will just continue to minister in our own strength without the undercurrents taking us into the depths of God. Let the Holy Spirit stir the word into your heart today. Pray that the logos would become the rhema and that you would be able to go with the flow as the rhema moments push you downstream into the depths of God; where it’s easy to love, to serve, to walk the narrow road and to swim in the deep, cool places of the knowledge of God. Go there. Go deeper. Let His Spirit take you there.
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